feeling sorry

For several months now I have been on the library waiting list for Paramore's newest album "Brand New Eyes." I could have easily bought the album off iTunes or checked out all the songs via YouTube but for some reason my most rational thought was to wait for 83 people to listen to that CD first before I could possess that very record in my own hands.

Now that I have the CD inserted in my car stereo I'm loving what I've waited so long to hear. On their last album I became obsessed with one song in particular called "Hallelujah." That song changed my life for the better. Cliche, I realize, but true. This time, though I haven't been remarkably changed yet, I do find myself listening to a new song over and over and over again. It's called "Feeling Sorry" and I'm ridiculously obsessed. So of all songs on their newest album, this one has caught my ear and required my finger to compulsively press repeat.

Lyrics alone don't make the song. I'd say the guitar and harmony contribute greatly. But for viewing pleasure I've listed the lyrics below. I highly recommend jamming out to this song as soon as possible. Preferably with windows down.

"Feeling Sorry" by Paramore

We still live in the same town, well, don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore
I go to all the same places, not even a trace of you
Your days are numbered at 24
And I'm getting bored waiting round for you,
We're not getting any younger, and I
Won't look back 'cause there's no use
It's time to move forward

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time for feeling sorry

I tried not to think of what might happen,
When your reality, finally, cuts through
Well, as for me, I got out and I'm on the road
The worst part it that this (THIS!) this could be you
You know it too, you can't run from your shame
You're not getting any younger, time,
Is passing by, but you waited awake
It's time to roll over

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time for feeling sorry

And all the best lies,
They are told with fingers tied
So cross them tight,
Won't you promise me tonight
If it's the last thing you do, you'll get out

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
I've got no time, I've got no time

I feel no sympathy,
You lived inside a cave
You barely get by the rest of us,
You're trying, there's no need to apologize,
Got no time!

I've got no time for feeling sorry!
I've got no time for feeling sorry!

one month later

all I can really say is... it's a new year for new beginnings, new relationships, new experiences, new opportunities, and new memories to be made.

over it

If I could I would scream Kate Nash lyrics to your face. Dumb dumb dumb.

yes or no

Over Thanksgiving break I've read a book and watched a few movies that all deal with romantic relationships with one question that keeps coming up in each story line: is love enough? And to be honest, I don't know the answer.

clearly

Today I was asked by a ten year old boy if I represent the Bloods (i.e. infamous street gang). I was wearing red glasses, a red scarf, and red TOMS. Welcome to the Westside.

perfect reminder of my purpose

A handwritten note left on my desk from my boss on stationary paper that says "You Make A Difference":

Laura,
Thank you for everything you do. Your free spirit and passion to help others is what drew my interest in you. Your sweet personality and kind heart is something our kids want and need in a case manager because they don't always experience this at home. This is more valuable than knowing the information needed to go to college. This is something you have in you, the other stuff can be learned. Transition in to anything is not easy, especially when its moving to a new job and growing program. Growth is an up-and-down rollercoaster and I think you are doing well adjusting to it. Several people in this organization have an interest in you - and that's to make sure you succeed. Take that with pride because I can't say that of everyone. Keep up the work and effort, I promise things will get better. I am proud to have you on my team.
-Jen

TheNotebook

I'm currently reading Nicholas Spark's The Notebook. I've seen the movie a few times; the first time being with Carla who made me laugh throughout the entire movie, while the most recent time was me crying like an emotional mess at every to-be-expected moment by myself. But reading the actual story of The Notebook has been an entirely different, cathartic, and difficult experience. I already know the story as told through film, but as words on paper the story births a push and tug that engulfs my own heart.

I read between the lines with every thought and feeling expressed by Noah and Allie. It's as if this story is familiar to me in both words and actions. Gestures of romance. Poetic words of love. Uncertainty of reciprocated feelings. Doubt of possessing that love again. I'm comforted to read an account of love (fictitious or not) that struggles but ultimately survives.

The love between Noah and Allie is intense and pure. It refuses to accept society's circumstances that suggests their love isn't worth the fight and continuously battles through obstacles that challenge what is felt from the inner core of each lover's soul. I'm learning, bit by bit, word by word, in the hopes...of writing my own account of a love so damaged and broken but intense and pure. I believe I'll have a story to tell. I'm just waiting to know the ending and epilogue.