like a surgeon

I wonder how many 24 year old virgins there are in the world right now... How many females? How many males? And what would the ratio then be for a virgin to marry a virgin? What will the population percentage of 24 year old virgins be when this upcoming generation of children become 24 years old? What's the probability the virgin percentage will be devastatingly lower than right now? How big is the percentage drop off from 24 year old virgins to 25 year old virgins and so on for each following year? Are there any 40 year old virgins currently in existence? What's the oldest age documented for someone being a virgin? If God wanted to bring another child to this earth through immaculate conception would He have a difficult time finding a carrier?

hair did

I had six bobby pins tucked in my hair today. Essential pieces to making my side loopy simple do look complex and intricate. It's just a ponytail with bent and malleable flare. Relax.

Thursday

1 Dos Equis
1 Whiskey & Coke
1 Red Bull & Vodka
2 Smirnoff Ice
Total: $6

Cute bartender in Austin's tip: $20 and my phone #

Why don't I go out more??

affirmation

"Against this system of mutual exploitation stands the more compelling alternative of virginity. It escapes the ruthless cycle of winning and losing because it refuses to play the game. The promiscuous of both sexes will take their cheap shots at one another, disguising infidelity and selfishness as freedom and independence, and blaming the aftermath on one another. But no one can claim control over a virgin. Virginity is not a matter of asserting power in order to manipulate. It is a refusal to exploit or be exploited. That is real, and responsible, power.

But there is more to it than mere escape. There is an undeniable appeal in virginity, something that eludes the resentful feminist's contemptuous label of "prude." A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There's no second-guessing a virgin's motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable."

Laura Lately

I seem to have gained a stronger compulsion for making lists since a) graduating from college and now b) having a full-time job. My desk has post-it notes galore spread about its surface. And it truly is as if I would forget what I need to do in life were in not for ordered or bullet-pointed neon colored square pieces of paper. How did it come to this state of mind?

I'm not sure when I took my first "spiritual gifts survey" but it must have occurred during my senior year of college because that's when I was most quote-unquote active in church. At that time I scored highest (23-24/25) range with three spiritual gifts: exhortation, service/helps, and mercy. Conveniently enough I answered the same spiritual gifts survey a couple of weeks ago with my middle school kids at church. I scored nearly the same on every gift with the inclusion of administration residing in the high score range. So what do these four spiritual gifts mean to me now? Well, as they i.e. LifeWay Christian Resources puts it...
- Administration: Persons with the gift of administration lead the body by steering others to remain on task. Administration enables the body to organize according to God-given purposes and long-term goals.
- Exhortation: Possessors of this gift encourage members to be involved in and enthusiastic about the work of the Lord. Members with this gift are good counselors and motivate others to service. Exhortation exhibits itself in preaching, teaching, and ministry.
- Service/Helps: Those with the gift of service/helps recognize practical needs in the body and joyfully give assistance to meeting those needs. Christians with this gift do not mind working behind the scenes.
- Mercy: Cheerful acts of compassion characterize those with the gift of mercy. Persons with this gift aid the body by empathizing with hurting members. They keep the body healthy and unified by keeping others aware of the needs within the church.
Not surprisingly, I identify strongly with all of these four spiritual gifts. Gifts like prophecy and evangelism though are definitely not my forte. It is so interesting when surveying oneself to see similar categories or terms continuously reappear in defining you.

The latest and greatest radio station I've become obsessed with is 90.1 KSYM, San Antonio College's own homegrown radio station. Their weekly schedule is so eclectic, I never get tired of tuning in. Whether in the mood for some piano jazz, techno tronic, or some indie alternative folk music, I'm down with KSYM. http://www.accd.edu/sAC/ksym/schedule.htm

I've been examining friendships lately. What I need in a friend, who do I define as a friend, how can I be a better friend, etc. All very fascinating conclusions that still remain open-ended.

I fear that my job will end soon due to dropped funding and poor program outcomes. I hate non-profit work at times.

Currently engrossed in "Boomsday" by Christopher Buckley. Glimpse of inside cover synopsis: "Cassandra Devine, an idealistic, straight-A student, was like any other seventeen-year-old Yale hopeful until she learned that her father spent her tuition money on a dotcom start-up, and she would be forced to join the army. Ten years later, Cassandra has become a frustrated Washington spin doctor and devoted nighttime blogger who rails against the excesses of the "Un-greatest" generation and their negligent handling of the mounting Social Security debt. After she learns that her father has remarried and bought his dim-witted son's way into Yale, she politely suggests on her personal blog that Baby Boomers be given government incentives to kill themselves by age seventy-five. This modest proposal catches fire with millions of outraged citizens and an ambitious senator seeking the youth vote for his presidential bid. With the help of Washington's greatest PR strategist, Cassandra and the politician try to ride the issue of euthanasia for Boomers (they call it "Transitioning") all the way to the White House. Their opposition includes the president of the United States, who's running for reelection; a pro-life preacher, who may have killed his own mother in a mysterious automobile accident; and, of course, multitudes of Baby Boomers, who are deeply offended by demonstrations on the golf courses of their retirement resorts." Catchy plot, eh? So good.

I need rest.

Book 2. Excerpt A.

TOAST

I deserve better than to be forced to document my cruel fate at the hands of a pat of butter. What crime did I ever commit, except bring crispy and golden brown on the outside - bearing the faintest bouquet of carbon - while being tender, fluffy and white, nay, cloudlike, on the inside?

And like I can't see the knife coming my way! If you wanted to scare me, it worked, and ...oh jeez, it's not even butter, it's margarine. Oh dear God, it's not even margarine -it's a spread - housebrand spread, bought from a Costco, at that. That's all I get in the end? Butter-like spread-type bulk-purchased yellow goop? I don't even rate butter? Thanks. Thanks a lot. At least butter is a classy way to go. Even margarine has a certain Volvo cachet.

Well, that's life. During my childhood as a humble slice inside the loaf (four slices in from the front), I once had dreams. Maybe one day, as toast, I would bear an image of Jesus or, if not Jesus, then NASCAR racing legend Dale Earnhardt or, failing that, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Instead, all I display is a golden brown toastiness distributed across my heated surface with about the same degree of randomness as craters on the moon, with a slightly darker browning in my midriff where I bowed slightly towards the toaster's equatorial grill.

I think it's actually mean to trick young bread slices into thinking that they, too, might one day harbour toast faces, let alone be sold on eBay for thousands of dollars and make a wacky news story that goes viral.

Life generally blows. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are far worse ways to go than as toast - croutons and stuffing spring to mind - as well as the worst fate of all: blue mould, followed by a few hasty twists of the bread bag's neck, then you're plunged into the trash and live in an anaerobic limbo until the year AD 327,406, when a glacier scours you out of what was once the local landfill. My fate is to be toast. I suppose that's a small blessing.

Wait - wait - it's almost here, the knife. It's almost ready to dock onto my super-sensitive spot in the dead centre of my - nmghhh... aughGHHH!

Oh!
That was--
That was--
Do it again.
Oh God, they never told us about this, back in the loaf. Jesus, I'm crumbling all over the place.
I don't care.
Mnmmmglumph!
Ahhhhh...

Warm, drizzling rivulets soak my being; molten, swirling, sun-coloured puddles drench my cracked, scabby and burnt skin - my death so near. Already I can sense teeth coming my way, and yet the fear is gone. I feel free! I feel dirty! I feel submissive! I feel...

I feel...
I feel...
... the end.

"The Gum Thief" by Douglas Coupland

Book 1. Excerpt C.

Excerpt C:

"Did I ever tell you," I said, "about the time last year in Stanley Park when Mark and I went rollerblading?"

"No."

"There was this group of blind people, with white canes and everthing -a C.N.I.B. tour or something- and they heard us coming, and they motioned for us to stop, and we did. Then they handed Mark a camera. They asked Mark to take their picture."

"Blind people?"

"Exactly. But the strange thing was, they still believed in sight. In pictures. I'm thinking that's not a bad attitude."

"Life After God" by Douglas Coupland