Three weeks ago I adopted a beautiful 2 month old kitten. I named him Tucker Charcoal Hardin. Yesterday morning, Tucker died. I can't express how devastated I was to hear the news. My mom found him in my apartment bathroom while I was at work. We buried him in my parents' backyard. This feeling blows. I feel so alone in my apartment now. Only three weeks together. Why?
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If a girl invites you to come over for the night, and you've already spent two nights together before, and you say you're going to call her, don't be a chicken and not call. Just tell her you're not interested anymore or make the call and show up. The girl doesn't need to be waiting around for a phone call. She needs to be finding the next available guy who will want to cash in her invitations.
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I don't think I'm sure of my reasoning for waiting to have sex until marriage. Sure, it's something I've always done and believed needed to happen. But I've been questioning it lately. I won't got to hell for having sex before I'm married so what is it I'm actually avoiding or waiting on? I'm just in a fit of doubt. Let's face it, I certainly WANT to have sex. What 24 year old gal doesn't?
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eHarmony is more interesting than you realize. Not that I would know...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
single apartment thoughts
I have a Queen size bed. It's missing a warm body. Every time I lay down in it I think to myself, "this would be much better if I were sharing it with someone."
Due to the attractive porch light forced on every night by the apartment complex, I'm left with little confidence that a romantic moment can occur on my doorstep. Any future kiss goodnight will have to occur at the bottom of the stairs or in my apartment. The last option being plausible only if he's willing to duck and cover from all the stupid flying bugs whizzing about the light inconveniently placed too close to my door. He'll have to work for that kiss.
The biggest problem of living by myself is not knowing how I want to decorate my walls. They're just blank cream colored walls waiting to be filled with vibrancy. What should I place here? How high should it be? How will this look next to the other thing? Does this look cluttered? What if I move it here? And where should this go? How many nails do I have? Does this look stupid? ...I give up.
The Igo Library is my favorite new neighbor. Located a hop skip and jump away from my apartment I can visit Igo and borrow whatever books, CDs, and DVDs I want. Thanks SA Public Library system.
I've been hanging around with a lot of boys recently and occassionally I'm the only girl in the group. I've taken the opportunity to probe their minds in learning more about their thought process concerning their interest in girls. I'm boggled by a lot of their answers and yet never surprised as well. I think I face more denial in believing they truly can be THAT superficial and follow what their penis wants more so than their heart or mind. My most recent conversation discussed the complexity between personality and looks. Take a guess which they payed attention to first... Duh, looks. So as a girl who would place herself in the personality category before ever thinking her looks qualify her to primarily be in the looks catergory, it was a disappointing response.
Due to the attractive porch light forced on every night by the apartment complex, I'm left with little confidence that a romantic moment can occur on my doorstep. Any future kiss goodnight will have to occur at the bottom of the stairs or in my apartment. The last option being plausible only if he's willing to duck and cover from all the stupid flying bugs whizzing about the light inconveniently placed too close to my door. He'll have to work for that kiss.
The biggest problem of living by myself is not knowing how I want to decorate my walls. They're just blank cream colored walls waiting to be filled with vibrancy. What should I place here? How high should it be? How will this look next to the other thing? Does this look cluttered? What if I move it here? And where should this go? How many nails do I have? Does this look stupid? ...I give up.
The Igo Library is my favorite new neighbor. Located a hop skip and jump away from my apartment I can visit Igo and borrow whatever books, CDs, and DVDs I want. Thanks SA Public Library system.
I've been hanging around with a lot of boys recently and occassionally I'm the only girl in the group. I've taken the opportunity to probe their minds in learning more about their thought process concerning their interest in girls. I'm boggled by a lot of their answers and yet never surprised as well. I think I face more denial in believing they truly can be THAT superficial and follow what their penis wants more so than their heart or mind. My most recent conversation discussed the complexity between personality and looks. Take a guess which they payed attention to first... Duh, looks. So as a girl who would place herself in the personality category before ever thinking her looks qualify her to primarily be in the looks catergory, it was a disappointing response.
Monday, May 17, 2010
book list
...currently reading "The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think" by Louann Brizendine, MD
135 pages of fascinating research and explanations for coming to terms with the rhyme and reason of male behavior...
135 pages of fascinating research and explanations for coming to terms with the rhyme and reason of male behavior...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
like a surgeon
I wonder how many 24 year old virgins there are in the world right now... How many females? How many males? And what would the ratio then be for a virgin to marry a virgin? What will the population percentage of 24 year old virgins be when this upcoming generation of children become 24 years old? What's the probability the virgin percentage will be devastatingly lower than right now? How big is the percentage drop off from 24 year old virgins to 25 year old virgins and so on for each following year? Are there any 40 year old virgins currently in existence? What's the oldest age documented for someone being a virgin? If God wanted to bring another child to this earth through immaculate conception would He have a difficult time finding a carrier?
hair did
I had six bobby pins tucked in my hair today. Essential pieces to making my side loopy simple do look complex and intricate. It's just a ponytail with bent and malleable flare. Relax.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday
1 Dos Equis
1 Whiskey & Coke
1 Red Bull & Vodka
2 Smirnoff Ice
Total: $6
Cute bartender in Austin's tip: $20 and my phone #
Why don't I go out more??
1 Whiskey & Coke
1 Red Bull & Vodka
2 Smirnoff Ice
Total: $6
Cute bartender in Austin's tip: $20 and my phone #
Why don't I go out more??
Saturday, April 10, 2010
affirmation
"Against this system of mutual exploitation stands the more compelling alternative of virginity. It escapes the ruthless cycle of winning and losing because it refuses to play the game. The promiscuous of both sexes will take their cheap shots at one another, disguising infidelity and selfishness as freedom and independence, and blaming the aftermath on one another. But no one can claim control over a virgin. Virginity is not a matter of asserting power in order to manipulate. It is a refusal to exploit or be exploited. That is real, and responsible, power.
But there is more to it than mere escape. There is an undeniable appeal in virginity, something that eludes the resentful feminist's contemptuous label of "prude." A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There's no second-guessing a virgin's motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable."
But there is more to it than mere escape. There is an undeniable appeal in virginity, something that eludes the resentful feminist's contemptuous label of "prude." A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There's no second-guessing a virgin's motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable."
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