waiting room review

I've been living in my own apartment for four months now and I've yet to make substantial attempts in acquiring Internet or cable television. I suppose I just haven't felt the need to design my home life around its accessibility. If I need to look anything up on the Internet, my iPhone is extremely useful. As for entertainment purposes, the public library and Netflix Instant keep me pretty happy. I suppose I'm just surprised by this accidental lifestyle change because if we were friends in college you would know that I loved my television shows and I had VCR tapes to prove it.
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Last night I was terribly upset by something and originally wanted to spend my evening tipping back as much beer and shots as possible to drown out my anger. Once I stepped inside my apartment, put my purse on the kitchen chair, and plopped down on my futon I realized that I didn't want to be "that" girl. So instead, I changed into my comfy pajamas, lit a few candles, poured myself some pinto grigio, and opened to the first page of an Esther bible study my mom had given me several months ago. I sat there reading the forward and the introduction in the scented candlelight, nervously hesitant to dive further into the study. In all honesty I haven't read the Bible in four to five months. I left my church and in turn stopped volunteering with the middle school youth. I wouldn't say I've turned my back on God, but I certainly haven't faced Him in awhile. When I think back to my ministry involvement in college, I can't seem to find that same girl in me now. I'm more honest with my intentions and only want them to be raw and genuine. I can't fake it anymore. And I'm slowly finding my own way, feeling that inner desire for something deeper. But it'll never be the same, and I'm thankful for that.
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I would like to be an editor. I'm by no means a connoisseur of English grammar or literature, but I do believe I would be a great editor. My co-workers know that I have "editor's eye" so I've become the resident "can you look this over for me, Laura?" gal. I love it. And I love to read. So make those two things have babies, and give me an editor job. Somebody, please!
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My iPhone just quit on me for the second time. All because I attempt to update its software on my seven year old Toshiba laptop. Oops, my bad. I've already reserved a Genius Bar appointment for tomorrow morning. I hate being the opposite of techno-savvy. Techno-stupid? Meh, I'll go with that name. At least when it concerns Apple products.
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While in the doctor's office this morning I reviewed several of my last blog posts and I didn't know until now that I mention virginity quite often. Almost an uncomfortable amount of times. And now add this one to the list. Oy vey.
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October 1st is World Vegetarian Day. I've pledged to be vegetarian for the entire month (with the exception of five meat meal passes to be used at my disposal). I asked my resident vegetarian co-worker to approve these passes and explained that when my sister returns from Afghanistan and visits us for a week, I'm going to need permission to devour as much ribs, fajita meat, and fried chicken as possible. I can't leave a carnivorous sister hanging.

on my mind tonight

Three weeks ago I adopted a beautiful 2 month old kitten. I named him Tucker Charcoal Hardin. Yesterday morning, Tucker died. I can't express how devastated I was to hear the news. My mom found him in my apartment bathroom while I was at work. We buried him in my parents' backyard. This feeling blows. I feel so alone in my apartment now. Only three weeks together. Why?
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If a girl invites you to come over for the night, and you've already spent two nights together before, and you say you're going to call her, don't be a chicken and not call. Just tell her you're not interested anymore or make the call and show up. The girl doesn't need to be waiting around for a phone call. She needs to be finding the next available guy who will want to cash in her invitations.
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I don't think I'm sure of my reasoning for waiting to have sex until marriage. Sure, it's something I've always done and believed needed to happen. But I've been questioning it lately. I won't got to hell for having sex before I'm married so what is it I'm actually avoiding or waiting on? I'm just in a fit of doubt. Let's face it, I certainly WANT to have sex. What 24 year old gal doesn't?
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eHarmony is more interesting than you realize. Not that I would know...

single apartment thoughts

I have a Queen size bed. It's missing a warm body. Every time I lay down in it I think to myself, "this would be much better if I were sharing it with someone."

Due to the attractive porch light forced on every night by the apartment complex, I'm left with little confidence that a romantic moment can occur on my doorstep. Any future kiss goodnight will have to occur at the bottom of the stairs or in my apartment. The last option being plausible only if he's willing to duck and cover from all the stupid flying bugs whizzing about the light inconveniently placed too close to my door. He'll have to work for that kiss.

The biggest problem of living by myself is not knowing how I want to decorate my walls. They're just blank cream colored walls waiting to be filled with vibrancy. What should I place here? How high should it be? How will this look next to the other thing? Does this look cluttered? What if I move it here? And where should this go? How many nails do I have? Does this look stupid? ...I give up.

The Igo Library is my favorite new neighbor. Located a hop skip and jump away from my apartment I can visit Igo and borrow whatever books, CDs, and DVDs I want. Thanks SA Public Library system.

I've been hanging around with a lot of boys recently and occassionally I'm the only girl in the group. I've taken the opportunity to probe their minds in learning more about their thought process concerning their interest in girls. I'm boggled by a lot of their answers and yet never surprised as well. I think I face more denial in believing they truly can be THAT superficial and follow what their penis wants more so than their heart or mind. My most recent conversation discussed the complexity between personality and looks. Take a guess which they payed attention to first... Duh, looks. So as a girl who would place herself in the personality category before ever thinking her looks qualify her to primarily be in the looks catergory, it was a disappointing response.

book list

...currently reading "The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think" by Louann Brizendine, MD

135 pages of fascinating research and explanations for coming to terms with the rhyme and reason of male behavior...

like a surgeon

I wonder how many 24 year old virgins there are in the world right now... How many females? How many males? And what would the ratio then be for a virgin to marry a virgin? What will the population percentage of 24 year old virgins be when this upcoming generation of children become 24 years old? What's the probability the virgin percentage will be devastatingly lower than right now? How big is the percentage drop off from 24 year old virgins to 25 year old virgins and so on for each following year? Are there any 40 year old virgins currently in existence? What's the oldest age documented for someone being a virgin? If God wanted to bring another child to this earth through immaculate conception would He have a difficult time finding a carrier?

hair did

I had six bobby pins tucked in my hair today. Essential pieces to making my side loopy simple do look complex and intricate. It's just a ponytail with bent and malleable flare. Relax.

Thursday

1 Dos Equis
1 Whiskey & Coke
1 Red Bull & Vodka
2 Smirnoff Ice
Total: $6

Cute bartender in Austin's tip: $20 and my phone #

Why don't I go out more??